how it went down:


forecast: light snow flurries.

bri: shotgun!

dan: did you see that throw? so, we all agree, right? patrick's a woman.
pat: but i'm clearly throwing against the wind. and uphill.

bri: i'm actually glad we didn't score the e. i don't need to see patrick sucking on a pacifier and dancing with glow sticks.

pat: when they get together and speak japanese, i always think they're laughing at me.
bri: ah, patrick. he only ha' one livah.

pat: so how do i order coffee with flavored syrup in it?
dan: i'm not sure. with a lisp?

ken: my legs are just too big. for everything.

pat: can you get my raspberry latte?
dan: it's funny how when i order your drinks, they become gay drinks.

pat: fuck the chains and do the monkey thing.

pat (to the del taco girl): yes, that's very close to what we ordered.
bri: so now we get extra spit in our tacos?

(click here for transcript of "the chicken quesadilla incident")

tracy: what kind of losers drive to reno to play poker in a hotel room?

ken: hey guys, isn't that snow. or something? guys?

big highway board: ice and snow. chains required.

ken (to patrick): please sir. please commit to a lane. pick a lane, any lane.

dan: sure they're just snow flurries. but there are like 7 of them happening at the same time.

pat: it's all part of the pageantry.

dan: yeah, maybe we'll get there faster if we slide!

ken: we'll pull into reno...
pat: spinning...
dan: hey there's reno! hey there's reno! hey there's reno!
tracy: yes, it's all very funny.

all: so long, sucker!

pat: go for the pageantry. stay for the death.

all: hey, what was that sound?

pat: can you see the chain?
bri: well...
pat: is it there?
bri: it's not on the tire... but we still have it.

ken: just keep going.
pat: where do i turn?
ken: go straight please.
pat: here?
ken: straight.
pat: so i turn here?

dan: there was all kinds of stuff caught in that chain. a big rock. a lunchbox. a pair of sneakers. some cheese.
pat: and so on, and so forth.

ken: i should've hit.
dan: but then the rest of us would've lost.
ken: right. but i should've hit.

brian: my ear is bleeding.

pat: i can't believe he hit on 20.
dan: but in ken's defense, it was a soft 20.
pat: the book clearly says...
ken: fuck the book!
bri: fuck the book and do the monkey thing.

pat: that's right. it's a push! take that, peppermill.

dan: patrick throws dice like he throws a football.
ken: yeah, see if you can hit the other end of the table, monoliv.
pat: it was my kidney.

ken: i didn't think you guys would leave at 5 so i only brought one shirt.
pat: but you even brought a hat.
dan: in effect, you brought as many hats as you did shirts.

dan: scheyer's toothbrush has naked ladies on it. patrick's toothbrush has a jack-o-lantern saying "happy halloween".

bri: why's the plant fucked up?
ken: don't worry about the plant.
pat: but what happened to the...
ken: yeah, don't worry about that.

dan: there are lots of jets in the jacuzzi. but this jet is my favorite.

pat: ken, we've been over this, and over this.
ken: i'm taking a card.
pat: but the book says...
ken: the book can kiss my big black ass.

pat: rhubarb is a process. like smelting.

bri: when i was a kid, my uncle would bring me to mexico. but he had motives. he'd say "hey brian. let's play hide and seek..."
dan: "you hide this condom full of pills. inside your ass..."
bri: "yeah. we're just hiding for now..."
dan: "the seeking will be much later."

pat: what are you looking at?
ken: crocodile dundee.
pat: what?
ken: it's a good movie.
pat: oh don't get me wrong. crocodile dundee is a fine movie.

ken: i'm taking the browns to the superbowl.

dan: i got a turtle sniffing cotton.

ken: cleveland rocks.

ken: do we still have that football?
dan: yeah, patrick's planning on throwing it like a girl later.
pat: hey, i was throwing uphill.
dan: like a woman.
pat: against the wind!

ken: patrick's socks are off-suit.

dan (to patrick): who are you gonna believe, me or you?

pat: ha ha, five dollars! take that, el dorado!

ken (buttoning shirt): sorry about that guys.
pat: i think when your shirt starts opening by itself, it's time...
ken: no no. this happens sometimes.
pat: but i think when...
ken: it's fine.

ken: i don't like this slice of cheesecake. i'm getting a new kind.

dan: should we move the table over?
pat (struggling and failing to move table): that's all i got.
dan: patrick's got lots of room on his side. he doesn't even have all his organs.
pat: i will match any of you jerks, organ for organ.

dan: she was like an athlete. the pole was her canvas.
bri: you mean she was like an artist?
dan: she was like an athlete whose sport involves canvases.

pat: you ok driving, dan?
dan: i'm fine.
pat: you haven't found your groove yet.
bri: he's not used to driving a car without a spoiler.
ken: and some neon.
dan: i'm fine.

ken: i went to the spice house and all i got was this stupid sore.

pat: we didn't even get to kick moneymaker's ass.
bri: that's not the way i'm telling it.

pat: you won this round, peppermill!

ken: whoa! hey now, with the choosing of the lane.
pat: what?
ken: hey guys, patrick's driving again!

pat: somehow, like a starfish grows another arm, my car fixes itself.

bri: i think i just sat on a nut.
dan: and it wasn't even your nut.


thanks guys. we'll do it again next year.